LAKE OCONEE — Have you heard this song by Brad Paisley?
Well I love her
but I love to fish.
I spend all day out on this lake
and hell is all I catch.
Today she met me at the door.
Said I would have to choose.
If I hit that fishin’ hole today
She’d be packin’ all her things.
And she’d be gone by noon.
Well I’m gonna miss her
when I get home …
For this fella fishing was more important then having a good relationship with his wife. He made his choice, she was gone. This was the life style he chose. The two were not compatible.
Lifestyle is as important as love for long term success of a relationship. Most people, especially younger couples, think that love will carry the day. “If we love each other, everything will work out.” Wrong. Before two people commit to a life together, they should examine the type of life style that each envisions. Unfortunately this is rarely done.
For a couple to be compatible in the long run they need to share a life with significant common interests. If not they will drift apart, living separate lives. Hurts and resentments build up regarding the particular choices made by one or both of them. Loneliness is the ultimate result.
Life is about choices. Decisions based on priorities need to be made. “Every decision involves an incision” a wise person once said. In the above situation, the man chose fishing over his wife, and she left him. End of relationship. They should have discussed this issue before getting married. Now if she also enjoyed fishing, perhaps the two of them could have enjoyed their time together doing this sport.
How does the lifestyle fit for you and your significant other? It is worthy of discussion. If you are drifting apart as a couple in part because of a lack of common interests, perhaps you could work to find an activity or hobby to share.
If you currently are not in a committed relationship, spend some time thinking about what type of lifestyle is important to you. Then as you meet potential partner be sure to see if there is a match in this area.
For life’s long journey, it is wonderful if your traveling companion is your best friend, your spouse. Being aware of your needs and interests, and that of your life partner, exploring and sharing them, can make for an adventurous life.
The bottom line here is, how do you want to live life during its various stages? And, who do you want to share this vision? Are the two compatible? Put the two together and life can be glorious — as long as the relationship is first. (In many ways and on many days, that fisherman has an empty net as he sits alone with his chosen lifestyle.)
— Dr. Stathas is a counseling psychologist, licensed marriage and family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area. He is the founder of the Stathas Life Development Center. He can be reached at (706) 473-1780. E-mail: Stathas@plantationcable.net Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com.
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Compatibility is key to happiness
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