Birth order is an interesting topic to many people. Many individuals blame or give too much credit to where one fits in the birthing order of the family. I would like to present some of the stereotypes, research and anecdotal data pertinent to such discussion.
TIME magazine ran a cover story on the topic. Some of the article’s observations and quotations are:
1. “First borns are generally smarter than any siblings that come along later.”
2. “Eldest siblings are disproportionately represented in higher paying professions.”
3. “Younger siblings by contrast are looser cannons ... statistically likelier to live the exhilarating life....”
4. “Middle children ... can be a puzzle. They get shortchanged.”
5. “First borns tend to be very conscientious, responsible and follow through.”
6. “Later siblings tend to be more agreeable, get along well with the world. They take more risks.”
That said, and these observations barely scratch the surface, there are a host of variables that affect these stereotypes. The biggest one is family dysfunction.
“Abusiveness is going to totally disrupt the birth order effects we would expect,” says researcher Frank Sulloway, said to be the United States’ leading authority on birth order. He adds, “the sheer number of siblings in a family can also trump birth order.” Time lapses between children also can have a significant effect on the personality of a given child.
Other pertinent variables in a family constellation are size, income, hometown, education, religion, ethnicity, roles, etc. Each family is unique. Researcher Bo Cleveland, professor of Human Development at Penn State University, states that “the proof is in the family design.”
In my work with families over the years, I find that birth order is significant in its effect on a given person. This would include the only child syndrome, unique unto itself. In my counseling practice I take definite note of the family constellation, with all its variables, and welcome the perception of the counselee as to how he or she views the birth order impact. Self esteem is affected. Personal, relational and vocational success is influenced by one’s birth order.
What is your particular understanding of where you fit in the family and the birth order affect on you, especially in regard to your choice of career and mate? You can be assured that it is an important component of who you are. Understanding the unique “family design” of your family can be very enlightening!
—Dr. Stathas is a counseling psychologist, licensed marriage and family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area. He is the founder of the Stathas Life Development Center. He can be reached at (706) 473-1780. E-mail: Stathas@plantationcable.net Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com.
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