In the course of counseling with people I ask each person to write various wants and needs that they may have — both short term and long term. The purpose of this is to facilitate introspection, looking within oneself. Most people do not spend enough time getting in touch with their feelings and the various needs that they may have. That is why I end my articles with the Socrates quote “the unexamined life is not worth living.”

Awareness of one’s needs helps me as a therapist to develop a “game plan” for future growth and happiness of this person. People need goals, something to look forward to and work toward. (”If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.”) How about all of us doing this as we bring in the new year.

The needs may vary. Individuals focus on physical, psychological, relational, and spiritual issues. Let’s look at a few in each category to assist in the self examination:

PHYSICAL:

1. Lose weight or wrinkles.

2. Get more money and/or different job.

3. Medical check-up.

4. Exercise more.

5. Modify or replace body parts. (I’ve just gotten a bionic knee).

PSYCHOLOGICAL:

1. Reduce stress and anxiety.

2. Challenge depression.

3. Get over certain fears or traumas.

4. Raise self-esteem.

5. Overcome addictions (alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, pornography, gambling, smoking, workaholism).

6. Eradicate guilt.

7. Explore mind-body techniques (meditation, yoga).

8. Develop better time management, based on values and priorities.

RELATIONAL:

1. Better communication with spouse, kids, parents, and selective others.

2. More fun with spouse and other significant others.

3. Better and more frequent sensual touching and sexual relations.

4. Forgiving more readily for mistakes made.

5. Be a better partner, parent, son or daughter.

6. Fixing or exiting an unhealthy relationship.

7. Become better at seeing the positives in others and being able to tell them so.

SPIRITUAL:

1. Finding your Vmat2 (spiritual gene) and activating it.

2. Reassess your past or present belief system.

3. Go to your spiritual domicile more often.

4. Find a new spiritual home with a better fit for your current spirituality.

5. Avoid hypocrisy, be who you say you are.

6. Become more loving, as “God is Love”!

Needless to say, these lists in the various categories are not exhaustive. They are meant to help and invite you to examine and embrace your unique self, find your unmet needs, and have the courage to go forward with a devised plan toward an improved you. Can’t be anything wrong with such a mission as long as you take into consideration the needs of those with whom you have a reciprocal responsibility.

The task of each individual is to develop one’s full potential without being “full of oneself” in a selfish manner. As the great Augustine proclaimed, “balance in all things.”

Accept the challenge of self improvement. May 2008 see you at your best!

“The unexamined life is not worth living” Socrates



—Dr. Stathas is a counseling psychologist, licensed marriage and family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area. He is the founder of the Stathas Life Development Center. He can be reached at (706) 473-1780. E-mail: Stathas@plantationcable.net Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com.