LAKE OCONEE — “A Nightmare on Elm Street”

Rated R for strong bloody horror violence, disturbing images, terror and language.



On my way to see Nightmare on Elm Street, I somehow misplaced my glasses. All I had was my sunglasses. So, I watched the re-made horror film in sunglasses. This turned out to be fortuitous. I am hoping it made me unidentifiable to other people when I walked out. I am ashamed that somebody felt it necessary to remake the 1984 classic. If I had a big floppy hat, I would have donned that as well. I am ashamed I went to see it.

Why remake the 1984 version?  I count seven or eight “sequels” of the film and a TV series. Is there anybody that does not recognize Freddie Krueger — the guy with the burned face and the razor blade finger nails? He and the guy with the hockey mask (Jason) are ubiquitous at Halloween. So what new can be said?

In this new “Nightmare” (as well as the old one), the plot is straight forward. Nice looking teenagers, when they fall asleep, are pursued by Freddy Krueger. Don’t fall asleep or you will die. Stay awake and you will start hallucinating — of Freddy Krueger chasing you. Chasing you in some dark, steamy, wet basement. Eager to turn you into a hunk of beef on a shish-ka-bob. Sleep or awake, Freddy will get you.

As in many horror films, the reason for such a predicament, is sinful parents. They did something that created this monster.

My biggest regret is that Krueger is not a vampire. Because then, someone could drive a stake in his heart and, at last, we could be spared remakes and sequels.

This “Nightmare” PR machine is making a big deal of this version. They think it is worth seeing because somebody else is playing Freddy Krueger. Robert Englund, who has been in all of the “Nightmare” films, is not Freddy this time. Instead, Jackie Earle Haley plays the monster. Interestingly, Haley tried out for a part in the 1984 version. He brought along a pal to the casting call. He didn’t get the part, but his buddy did; some nobody named Johnny Depp.

For an hour and a half, we are subjected to teenagers dozing off and Freddy Krueger chasing them around. And to keep our attention, ol’ Freddy dispatches someone every ten or fifteen minutes with enough gore to keep us from nodding off.

I would love to ridicule this movie, but I am uninspired. I have seen all the special effects before. There is nothing new or creative. I am at a loss as to why they remade this movie. Wes Craven created Freddy Krueger, and twenty-six years ago, the monster was something new. However, it is cliché, so making the movie is exploiting a cliché and making those of us who go see it, chumps; all without being the least creative. There are many remakes of classics, but the makers somehow inject something new, something fresh. This “Nightmare” fails. It is limp, and despite all the blood, it is actually, metaphorically bloodless.

This remake is shameful, dull, and even silly. I saw it yesterday and the memory is already fading. This “Nightmare” is forgettable. If I were you, I would forget it before you even think about it.



“A Nightmare on Elm Street” earns one bow tie out of five.