LAKE OCONEE — Despicable Me

Rated PG for rude humor and mild action



I hate the word “cute.” I get annoyed when I read it. So, I will not use it to describe “Despicable Me.”  Perhaps “beguiling” would suffice. The point is I had fun watching it. And so did the kids in the theater with us. They particularly loved the toilet, fart, and poop and pee jokes. So, there, I cleverly warned you that potty humor is prominently utilized in this film. But it is aimed at the juvenile in us and it makes a direct hit.

This is about two “evil villains.” The main character in Gru (voiced by Steve Carell); the other “bad guy” is Vector (voiced by Jason Segal). Gru has a Russian accent. He is clearly a “villain” because he didn’t get enough hugs from his cold and unloving mother (voiced by — can you believe it? — Julie Andrews). But Gru still strives to succeed…in villainy. However, of late, he is being outdone by Vector. Vector looks like Bill Gates but all of his contraptions look like they are invented by Steve Jobs. I wonder if that was intentional or just my evil imagination?

Gru has these little helpers called Minions. They look like little yellow pills with legs and arms; they speak a funny little language. They are so cu…beguiling. I love those little critters. I want some Minions.

Anyway, Gru steals a shrinking ray gun so he can steal the moon. (Lots of stealing goes on in this movie.) But Vector steals the gun from Gru, so Gru adopts three adorable little girl moppets to act as cookie sellers to gain entrance to Vector’s lair to steal back the gun.  At first, he cares nothing for the little girls but the inevitable happens. The evil villain apparently has a heart; and it melts.

One gag in “Despicable Me” involves Gru going to the bank to borrow money to build a rocket to go to the moon (so he can shrink and steal it). The bank is “The Bank of Evil” (formerly Lehman Brothers). Wicked humor; I love it.

“Despicable Me” is not up to the level of brilliance that comes from Pixar, but it comes pretty darn close. One thing about 3D: if you really have to have it in 3D, fine, but please remember that 2D is always brighter and sharper. You choose.

“Despicable Me” earns four bow ties out of five.

 

Predators

R (for strong creature violence and gore, and pervasive language).



“Predators” brings back that giant ugly creature that we first met in 1987 along with Arnold Schwarzenegger. We had reunions in 1989, 1990, 2004, 2005, and 2007. I didn’t feel the nostalgia. Despite the two stars (Adrien Brody and Lawrence Fishburne) I was not impressed. In fact, I was bored to tears.

These people drop from the sky. They are all professional killers. We quickly figure out that this is another planet and they are there to be the prey of Predators.

The cast is a cornucopia of stereotypes: a Hispanic woman, a Japanese sword-wielding gangster, a black guy, a wise-cracking con, a Mexican, a White Bread doctor, and Adrian Brody. Brody fills the role of guy-with-a-big-nose-and-tiny-ears.

Soon, they get picked off, one-by-one. Two end up alive after all the mayhem. Guess which two. I wish they had saved some time and dispatched all of them at once and I could have left to get something to eat. Sadly, I had to endure 90 plus minutes of GI Joe claptrap and falderol.

Please, unless you are a ruthless killer, don’t allow yourself to be sent to this dreadful planet.

 

“Predators” barely deserves one bow tie out of five.