Celebrating Daddy’s daughter’s birthday

Published 8:00 am Wednesday, September 23, 2009

This week is my daughter Brittany’s birthday. I would like to share some reflections with you and, perhaps, invite you men to think about your relationship with your daughter. Allow me a personal expression of love.

During the past year a couple of songs have brought “Daddy tears” to my eyes. If you are a father of a daughter you may well know what I am talking about. The songs were “My Little Girl” by Tim McGraw and “I Loved Her First” by Heartland. I would like to present some of the lyrics to you that speak to me and, hopefully, to you as a dad.

“I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm,

You had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born…

You’re a beautiful baby from the outside in.

Chase your dreams but always know the road that’ll lead you home again,

Go on, take on this whole world.

But to me you know you’ll always be, my little girl” (McGraw)

The lyrics built on emotions felt at the birth of Brittany and were often reinforced when I rocked her and tucked her in bed with a kiss. Or later when I was watching her dance, swing a bat, cheerlead, or going to a prom. She helped make my birthday special by often giving me a birthday picture of the two of us inscribed “Daddy’s Girl.” Heart strings often got pulled.

I remember a foreshadowing of her adulthood and the “next step” into a relationship with a significant other when she was about 8. She and I were home together and I rented the movie “Father of the Bride.” Sometime during the movie tears were running down my cheeks. She said, “Daddy, why are you crying?” My choked up voice responded that I was fine and that someday she would understand. I knew that some day she would move on and marry. I looked forward to that day with mixed emotions. To this day both of us remember that special father-daughter time together.

Last May Brittany married David Dixon. I was happy for her because I knew she made the right choice. He is special and a great fit for her. They will have a wonderful marriage. A short time before the wedding date Brittany came home with a DVD that she said we needed to watch. It was “Father of the Bride!” Daddy and daughter shared a precious memory amidst loving tears.

At the wedding I had a special moment with Brittany — the father-daughter first dance. Our song:

“I loved her first

I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she smiled at me.

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she’d find you someday:

But it’s still hard to give her away.

I loved her first

So, yeah, you might know what I’m going through

When a miracle smiles up at you.

I loved her first” (Heartland)

Hopefully, you fathers have had similar experiences of a loving emotion filled relationship with your daughter. If she has not yet come into your life, get ready for the ride — and make it good. If you have not experienced a special bond with your daughter, get with it and make it happen if at all possible. Both of you will prosper from such a primal connection.

Happy birthday, Brittany. Thank you for enriching my life! I love you!

Dr. Stathas is a counseling psychologist, licensed marriage and family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area. He is the founder of the Stathas Life Development Center. He can be reached at (706) 473-1780. E-mail: Stathas@plantationcable.net Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com.