Eat Pray Love

Rated PG-13 on appeal for brief strong language, some sexual references and male rear nudity.

Let there be no doubt, “Eat Pray Love” is the penultimate chick flick. In the near future, I see this DVD being played in a room of gal pals kicking up their heels, drinking white wine, giggling at the funny parts, and eye-dabbing during the romantic scenes.

I know this is a chick flick because no one is cut in half with flying bullets and the only sex scene occurs behind a door. No female nudity either. There is a bare butt Australian however.  And ladies, apparently, love the bare butt of a blonde Australian. I have seen a lot of movies and when it comes to flesh, there is one basic rule: boobs for men, butts for women.

“Eat Pray Love” is based on a super best seller, not a novel, but a memoir. Liz Gilbert (Julia Roberts) is a writer. She has grown unhappy being married. She divorces her husband — and it was not an amicable dissolution either. She falls for an actor (theater, not film or TV). That ends in a fizzle. She, however, picked up a religion of sort — a variation of Hindu — as much as I can gather; she follows a female Guru.

She remembers back when she was in Bali and she met a toothless but charming “healer.” He predicted her divorce and another marriage…and invites her back to teach him to speak better English.  She makes up her mind that she is going back to see him but first she goes to Italy and then to India. Her journey would take a year.

And yes, she hoped to “find herself” and some happiness too.

She goes to Italy and eats pasta and finds an extra ten pounds.  And she discovers that Italians are fun to spend time with…especially when eating food or watching soccer.

Then she goes to India and discovers the joy of scrubbing floors and meditating. She also meets a Texan (Richard Jenkins) who was on a similar journey, except he had been at it for many more years.

Then she returns to Bali only to not be remembered by the old man. ..at first. She is tempted by the aforementioned bare-butt Aussie. She then is nearly run over by a Brazilian (played by Spaniard Javier Bardem). So you just know that this is going to be her true love, right?

She isn’t so sure. She loves him. She isn’t so sure. She loves him. She isn’t so sure. She loves him. You get the idea.

Not to worry; there is a happy ending.

My future gal pal gang shall turn off the DVD, pour out the last bit of wine, and drain their glasses. Everyone will agree that watching the movie without the menfolk was grand fun.

Menfolk would no doubt agree.

As Liz Gilbert, Julia Roberts is good — but the role is hardly demanding and that is a pity. Still it is a pleasure watching her smile and play a strong, independent woman…again.

Richard Jenkins, the Texan, on the other hand, has one scene that is pretty darn effective. All the other characters are stick figures, albeit amusing ones. Even Bardem’s role is sort of a too-good-to-be-true character, an ideal love interest: dark good looks, thick accent, and, and best of all, he loves his kids to tears. And he hasn’t had sex for ten years since his divorce. What more can a mature woman ask for?

Ah, the positive effects of prayer. Break out another bottle of white wine, girls, and thank God…or Kami (in this case) for that hunk of Brazilian second chance…or was it a third chance? Whatever.

Guys: stay away. Or better yet, go see “The Expendables.” There are lots of firearms, testosterone, and dead bodies.

“Eat Pray Love” earns three bow ties out of five.