Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Rated PG-13 for brief strong language and thematic elements.

“Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” is Oliver Stone’s sequel to his 1987 “Wall Street.” According to my abacus that’s 23 years! The first thing that crossed my mind was, “should I watch the DVD of ‘Wall Street’ to get up to speed?” I think I should have, but I just didn’t have the energy. I think I muddled through without it though. I think you could, too.

Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas), that lizardy money manipulator and stock shyster, comes out of prison in 2000. No one is there to greet him, not even his daughter Winnie Gekko (Carey Mulligan). Winnie is busy ignoring and hating her father for being a self-absorbed SOB and “causing” her mom to go crazy and her beloved brother to overdose. Apparently Gordon has forgotten 1 Timothy 6:10. However, ironically Winnie is happily bedded down with a Gordon Gekko wannabe named Jake Moore (Shia LaBeouf) in a killer apartment on Manhattan. (Don’t people learn anything? Maybe she didn’t see the movie.)

The action moves quickly from 2000 to 2008. (Cue ominous music with a stock chart superimposed over glitzy Manhattan skyline.) Envision a testosterone filled room with men (and one or two women) glaring at computer screens and lots of yelling at each other bidding on stocks, futures and whatever those people do to make sure our portfolios sink further and further into a black hole that would make even Stephen Hawking sit up and short out his voice computer.

At this point…we may not quite understand the financial shenanigans…but the deal is this: young Jake’s hero/mentor Louis Zabel (played perfectly by Frank Langella) is driven to ruin by a slimeball named Bretton James (oily played by the most excellent Josh Brolin). A side character is the great Eli Wallach. I could have spent 30 minutes just watching him — even if his character is a lowdown snake.

Anyway, all these backstabbing gangsters in pinstripes do horrible, terrible things…and drive Jake into the arms of Gordon Gekko…apparently to extract revenge for Louie.

Has Gordon Gekko been redeemed and does he genuinely want to reconcile with his beloved (now cue the tears) Winnie? Or is he up to something? Hmmm. There is the Oliver Stone touch to consider: paranoia atop every grassy knoll.

Clearly this is a morality tale…or an immorality tale…about the people who hold America’s financial heart, soul and other body parts in their greedy fingers. Feel free to shudder.

From Oliver Stone, I expected an end depicting a cynical reality of fast-cash, me-ship that prevails on Wall Street. Instead — are you ready for this? — I got a happy ending with all kinds of ribbons tied up in pretty little bows. It is topped off with a big family hug with a Disney ending. Bad guys go to jail and good guys go on to live like billionaires who contribute to green energy.

Michael Douglas is the perfect guy to play this character. We want to believe him even though his soul is as black as the devil’s eyes. Josh Brolin, Eli Wallach and Frank Langella are fun to watch. LaBeouf and Mulligan, however, look far too sweet and innocent to be within 2000 miles of Manhattan. She should be teaching art at an elementary school in rural Iowa while he coaches dodge ball to the kids.

All in all, you must see this movie if you were a disciple of “Gekko” and Stone way back in 1987. If not, well, my advice is that this movie is only fair-to-middling, a little too long, and downright silly and unrealistic at the end.

I should admit that I am not a big fan of Oliver Stone. I think he is overrated. I know this means that Mr. Stone will probably not hire me for a rewrite of his next project, but I will risk it in favor of my readers. My journalistic integrity means too much to me to sell my soul to Mr. Stone for stained lucre.

Please alert the Pulitzer Committee of my selflessness. You see, I am very familiar with 1 Timothy 6:10.

“Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” achieves three bow ties out of five on the Schaefer Value Chart.