Often I am asked these questions: “Can you help this person?” Can you help me?” Can a person really change? My answer is “Yes — if certain steps are followed.”

As a therapist I am presented with many concerns by people who want themselves or someone they care about to get better, to get healthier, to be a better functioning person. There are many variables in the quest for personal growth and healing Success depends on these basic factors.

First off there needs to be an ASSESSMENT of what appears to be the problem. Does the patient/client recognize that there is a valid concern? Who are the people involved with the issues presented? Identification of the issue to be worked on in therapy needs to be stated and understood by those involved. Anxiety, depression, alcohol and drug abuse, anger management, communication issues, marital strife, parenting concerns, physical and sexual abuse, attention deficit disorder,  fear issues, divorce/separation, addictions, sexual compatibility, money management, would be illustrative of some of the types of presenting concerns worthy of therapeutic assistance.

Secondly, does the patient/client recognize that there is a problem?  AWARENESS is a necessary step in problem solving.  If s/he is not attuned to the issue, what needs to be done to help this person realize this concern?

If progress is to be made a COMMITMENT to the appropriate therapeutic modality is necessary. Progress cannot be made without the appropriate people committing to work through a process toward a solution.  Sometimes people have too much fear or anger to overcome in order to commit.  Others just want to “keep their head in the sand” and deny that there is a problem. And some stubbornly say that they are not ready to deal with it. And, last but not least, there are those who “shoot the messenger” because they do not have the gumption to be open, recognize the problem, and, therefore, decide to blame the therapist diagnosis and/or solution modality.

If the patient/client will not accept that fact that s/he has a problem and refuses to commit to therapy the concerned and caring persons involved need to change their behavior toward him/her is order to get this person to realize that s/he needs to get better or there will be significant changes in his/her life.

In some cases appropriate medication may be needed to facilitate the therapeutic process. It is here that I collaborate with some of the outstanding medical doctors available.

People need to know the complexity of their unique brain wiring and how it affects their various feelings, thoughts, and behavior.  How does their brain, beginning with family genetics and affected by life experiences, work for or against them in the challenge of everyday living.  Without this knowledge appropriate intervention and change is not possible.

So, respected reader, you can see that the answer to the question as to whether or not people can change is complex.  I would not be in my profession as a Counseling Psychologist, Marriage and Family Therapist, if I did not see and effectuate real and lasting change in the people I work with. I am blessed to be in this profession and grateful to see what individuals, couples, and families can become!

— Dr. Stathas is a Counseling Psychologist, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area.  He is the Founder of the Stathas Life Development Center.  He can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email:Stathas@plantationcable.net. Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com