The beginning of a year is a time when you may be looking at various facets of your life. Your marriage, along with your health and finances, would hopefully be a priority in such an assessment. Are you in the marriage that you desire? How aware are you of the marriage you are in? Do you think about it often or just block it out and go through the motions day after day? Are you open to looking at your marriage? If so, please continue.

Please read each of the issues below and rate each one on a 1-10 scale. Ten is the highest.

1. We give each other surprises

2. We have fun regularly

3. We support each other

4. We are comfortable alone or together

5. We take care of our bodies

6. We are truthful with each other

7. We travel well together

8. We are sexually and emotionally faithful

9. We have a satisfying and beautiful sex life

10. We touch each other’s body often

11. We are growing together spiritually

12. We parent our children well

13. We express appreciation and praise each other

14. We have secure and happy children

15. We share major family decisions

16. We make each other’s deepest needs a priority

17. We care for our relationship each day

18. We experience passion with each other

19. We communicate our feelings openly

20. We contain each other’s anger

21. We have daily private time

22. We feel safe with each other

23. We are financially secure

24. We exchange ideas and thoughts

25. We are reliable for each other

26. We resolve our differences/conflicts quickly and remain close

27. We support each other’s goals

28. We listen to each other’s feelings

Well, how did you come out? If you are divorced currently, how do you think you and your ex did with these issues?

This assessment is from the book GETTTING THE LOVE YOU WANT: A GUIDE FOR COUPLES by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. Dr. Hendrix is very highly regarded in the relationship development field. He writes about developing a “Conscious Marriage”. Such a marriage aims to lower one’s defenses and become an ally to one’s partner. In such a process childhood wounds are healed and an intimate caring relationship is formed.

It is the goal of the article and the above assessment to encourage you, Respected Reader, to look at the marriage you have and evaluate where improvement might be needed. And then, do something about it! It is worth the effort.

“The unexamined life is not worth living”   Socrates

Dr. Stathas is a Counseling Psychologist, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area. He is the Founder of the Stathas Life Development Center. He can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email:Stathas@plantationcable.net. Web site articles: drstathas.googlepages.com