In my practice I occasionally meet with parents who have special needs kids. By “special needs,” I mean a child who has physical, intellectual, emotional or behavioral challenges that are causing him/her difficultly in moving forward in concert with his/her peers. These challenges call for unique responses by parents and, sometimes, the school system. Such concerns are a call to action by parents who are attuned to their child’s condition and environment. Some Special Needs kids’ issues arise from their genetics. Others come from their brain’s adaptation to their early childhood environment. Oft times both genetics and environmental conditioning are the causal factors.

These Special Needs, out of “norm,” child presents challenges and opportunities for parents to help create success experiences for their child. If this challenge is not met the child will stumble and not reach his/her potential and will probably be saddled with depression and low self esteem.

I see kids with ADD/ADHD, Asberger’s Syndrome, excessive anger, deep seated rebellion, extreme depression and/or anxiety, etc… . I see each child as unique and try to evaluate where on the continuum of the diagnosis he or she may fall. I try to work with the parents to empower their child, focusing on his or her strengths, and develop strategies to optimize the child’s potential and find happiness on the road to a successful life.

It is very satisfying to work with parents who are wise enough, loving enough, and willing to put in the extra effort called for to assist a Special Needs child to move forward developmentally. These parents make many a sacrifice to “be there” for their child in such cases.

On the other hand, it breaks my heart to work with parents who don’t “get it” — parents who won’t do the necessary things that their child needs to flourish. The child feels the hurt and pain associated with such parental negligence and his/her condition is exacerbated accordingly. This emotional hurt is heaped on to the emotional abuse these children frequently encounter at school. Their peers often make cruel comments to them which makes them feel further isolated and depressed.

Special Needs kids may need extensive testing to further understand how their brain functions and what changes may be recommended on their behalf. They may need a change in schools, or classroom — perhaps home schooling. Often Special Needs kids may well need changes in the home environment furnished by their parents, i.e. parents fighting less, substance abuse, rageful or controlling style, etc… . Inappropriate parenting styles and home environment exacerbate their condition.

Each child is unique and desires to be understood, nurtured, and be given the opportunity to grow into a fulfilled life. You parents are your child’s primary architect. Hopefully, in concert with the appropriate professionals, you are creating and executing a successful design plan. It is your privilege, opportunity, and responsibility. Please, do your best!

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email:Stathas@plantationcable.net. Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com