Marriage and family therapist: Jeff Foxworthy on identity and being a dad

Published 5:33 pm Thursday, June 14, 2018

A number of years ago I happened to catch well known comedian Jeff Foxworthy being interviewed on the radio. He was plugging an all day seminar on being a dad. The seminar’s name was “All Pro Dad Live.” Foxworthy, former football coach Tony Dungy, coach Mark Richt, and other notables were devoting the day to teaching interested men on how to be a good dad.

Foxworthy said a couple of things, that in my opinion, “qualified” him to be an honorary “marriage and family therapist” for sake of this article. One of his topics was on identity.

He said a woman once came up to him and commented that he had been a successful comedian, a game show host, and had written a number of books. She wondered which one was the “real Jeff.” He replied none of these. These things are what he has done, not who he is. He said “my identity is being a good husband and father.”

Foxworthy elaborated on how being a good dad was so important to him. He said his father left him when he was about 7 and that he felt then that he was not good enough for his dad to want to stay around. (This is a typical feeling in a child whose dad was not present and involved in his or her life). He said that when he became a dad he “did a 180” from his dad. Even when he had a show in another city he would fly home after it, arriving in the wee hours of the morning because he wanted to be there for his kids.

Jeff Foxworthy is using his fame and capacity to reach a large audience for sharing these two central points. What a person does is not who s/he is. Being a good husband and father are significant elements to who a man is.

Too many men just don’t get it. They think that being “important” in the world and getting their performance based “attaboys” are what it is all about. It is all about them as they narcissistically seek fame and fortune. Certainly part of being a good husband and father is providing income for the family. And, too, some men need to travel more than what they may desire in order to keep their job and provide for the family.

Thank you, Jeff Foxworthy, for sharing this important psychological message to men. And thank you for bringing to us so much wonderful humor without being smutty about it. May you continue to grace us with your wisdom and humor. (Also, Jeff, have you heard the joke about… . Nah, I can’t tell a joke!)

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: Stathas@plantationcable.net.  Website: drstathas.googlepages.com.  His blog: drstathas.com