Most people prefer to be liked. Some don’t (social misfits). Some turn themselves inside out in order to be liked (excessive pleasers). What I’m talking about are some basic habits and behaviors that help you be likable in a genuine authentic way.

What makes a person “likable”? Think about that for a moment. Dr. Travis Bradberry has an interesting article on the subject. He quotes a significant study conducted by UCLA subjects that rated over 500 adjectives based on their perceived significance to likability. The top descriptive adjectives turned out to be “sincerity, transparency, and capacity for understanding another person.” 

Based on further research Dr. Bradberry uncovered these behaviors that emotionally intelligent people engage in that make them likable. 

1. THEY ASK QUESTIONS: People like to know you’re listening. A question can show that not only are you listening, but that you also care about what they are saying. Questions invite connection and joined interest.

2. THEY PUT AWAY THEIR PHONES: When you are involved in a conversation you do not pay attention to anything arriving on your phone. The person you are with gets full attention. Go to the rest room and check out your phone, if need be, between conversations.

3. THEY ARE GENUINE: Being genuine and honest is essential to being likable. No one likes fake people. Genuine and honest folks elicit trust, which is basic for a connectable likability.

4. THEY DON’T PASS JUDGMENT: If you want to be likable, you must be open-minded. Being open-minded makes you approachable and interesting to others. No one want to have a conversation with a know-it-all judgmental person with a closed mind.

5. THEY DO NOT SEEK ATTENTION: Don’t be a limelight hog. “Here I am, look at me” folks are not likable. They are excessively needy for attention. It is all about them. You don’t fit in. They are not likable!

6. THEY ARE CONSISTENT: I cannot say enough about this one. Consistency invites trust. Remember the old Holiday Inn motto, “The best surprise is no surprise.” 

7. THEY USE POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE: It is important to be cognizant of your non verbal body language. Gestures, expressions, eye contact, etc… all say, “I’m with you and care about what you are saying.”

8. THEY LEAVE A STRONG FIRST IMPRESSION: Research has consistently shown that most people decide whether they like you or not within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. Hit it good right off the bat!

9. THEY GREET PEOPLE BY NAME: Work on remembering names. (Gets harder as you age). People like to be called, remembered by their name. It invites them in. Write it down for next time!

10. KNOW WHEN TO OPEN UP: Listen well to other person. Open up slowly and authentically. Don’t share too fast or too open until you assess how the relationship is developing.

11. THEY KNOW WHO TO TOUCH: Be careful with this one! Knowing who to touch, how, and when is important in the process of becoming likable. Be aware of the other’s personal space and openness to touch.

12. THEY BALANCE PASSION AND FUN: People gravitate toward those who are passionate and fun loving. Don’t be too serious about your passion. Put a fun element into it.

Respected Reader, it is incumbent on you to decide if you are, or want to be, likable. If you do these tips will resonate. If you don’t give a darn, then it is worth considering why you don’t want to be liked. Hope this helps!

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Webpage: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com.