Happiness is a desired goal. How to reach it may present challenges, depending on a multitude of factors. Recognizing the challenges and being proactive in seeking direction and finding pragmatic solutions are key parts toward developing a life of happiness. Hopefully, each of you, Respected Readers, is doing the best you can to create such a life. I would like to share with you another insight that may add to your repertoire of factors promoting happiness.

David G. Allan has written an article that caught my eye in this regard. A mental health component of living a life of happiness is a focus on gratitude. Science has clearly demonstrated that increasing your sense of gratitude is tied to sustained happiness, stress relief, self-control, resilience, better sleep, and improved physical health. 

Mr. Allan has a brilliant idea that he calls “Roses, thorns, and buds”(RTB). I will elaborate on it and invite you to make it a part of your life. It is an awareness technique that you can use in private, as well as share with significant others in your life.

A “rose” is something you feel is positive in your life. A “thorn” is a challenging occurrence. A “bud” is something positive you are anticipating. Areas of life to consider within this perspective could include, significant other, family members, friends, health, spirituality, work/school, recreational outlets, and so forth.

It is important to put most of your effort into finding the “roses” in your life as well as the “buds.” Research has shown that in relationships particularly, you need five positive factors to counterbalance every negative one because our brains are hardwired to be alert for threats and we then perseverate on the bad instead of the good. The more you focus on the grateful things in your life the happier you will be. As for the “thorns”, they are not to be denied. Rather they are to be dealt with in a timely manner to your best ability. And then let the negative go. Do not let it continue to penetrate your consciousness. “Change the channel” from the negative to the positives of your “roses” and “buds.”

This RTB method is not only good for you, Respected Reader. It can also be a communication technique within your family. Each day, or as often as you want to employ this method, have each member share his/her RTB with the others. This is particularly useful with kids. Instead of asking your kids, “How was school today?” and getting the one word answer of “good,” this method encourages a more complete communication of what went on in one’s day.

In summary, gratitude brings happy thoughts and feelings into your consciousness and helps drown out some of the pestering negative ones. A daily gratitude journal is a wise mental health habit. The “Roses, Thorns, Buds” practice helps enable you to bring more happiness into your life. You deserve that!

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Website: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com