There are a plethora of articles written about what men want in marriage, as well as what women want in marriage. I think the “wants” overlap in many or most marriages, but for sake of discussion, I will focus on what men want. I’m guided in this by a woman, yes a woman, speaking about what men want. Sheri Stritof has opined well with her list of 10. I will share them with you, adding my own commentary. I would have a different priority list than what she states, but overall I think she nails important factors.

1. AFFECTION: While noting that sex is usually on top of most men’s list, Ms. Stritof states than men want more than that. They want emotional romantic expressions and various acts of fondness that help him feel connected with his wife.
2. BELIEF IN HIS CAPABILITIES: Men like to be heroes, including to their wives. To be “the man” is important. Women would be wise to say and do things that make him feel valued and capable.
3. UNDERSTANDING:  Men want to know that you “get them”. To be known, really known, is a deep need in most people. Good communication, non judgment, and positive reinforcement help make that understanding happen.
4. APPRECIATION and AFFIRMATION: Compliments, recognition of a “job well done” feels good and raises the prospect that more of such behavior will continue. Give him some deserved “attaboys”!
5. ACCEPTANCE:  If you choose to commit to someone, you are buying into the whole package. Do not try to change him, accept him. That is not to say that when certain behaviors are hurtful that you should shut up. On the contrary, wives need to be strong and stand up for their needs. Due diligence before marriage helps you to know what this “package” is and whether you want to buy into and accept.
6. LESS CHATTER: Stereotypically, women talk too much with too many details and men don’t listen well or talk enough. Men just want your bullet points, give the details to your girlfriend. Men need to do a good job to convey that they are truly listening and value what is being said – or at least not brush it off.
7. RESPECT: This is one of the key bedrocks for a good marriage.  Good communication can clarify how best such respect may be shown.
8. FREE TIME: A man needs some alone time. This is an opportunity for him to reflect, re-energize himself, have some fun
9. TRUST:  This, along with respect, is one of the two basic bedrocks of a loving relationship. Trusting your man sexually, financially, communicatively, etc… will build a solid foundation for a live well lived — together.
10. COMPANIONSHIP: Most men want their partners to be their best friend. They want their wives to share various life experiences and create memories with them. Life style that is a fit for both is often underestimated as a core connecting piece for couples.

Well, Respected Reader, what do you think? Personally I think that most of these could be written under the headline of “what women want” as well. Perhaps a different order would be reflected. The reason for this article is to raise the question for each of you readers as to what you want/need from your spouse. May it spark some thought and increased communication about this worthy topic.

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Website: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com