One of the more frustrating, oftentimes angering, parts of my profession is watching parents doing a poor job of parenting. A child is unbelievably influenced by what is going on with his/her parents and the way they parent the child. Scott Bender has written about seven aspects of family life that have a major impact on how successful the child may be. I list them here, along with my embellishment. 

1. HAVE THE KIDS DO CHORES: Dr. Lythcott-Haims of Stanford University states that children raised with the responsibility of doing chores grow into adults who usually are better employees, teammates, etc… and have empathy because they will know the value of independence and hard work. 
2. TEACH SOCIAL SKILLS: Significant studies have shown that socially competent kids who could cooperate with their peers without prompting, be helpful to others, understand their feelings, and resolve problems on their own were far more likely to have a college degree and a full-time job by the age of 25 than their peers who did not have such social skills.
3. THE FAMILY GETS ALONG: Kids whose parents get along tend to do better emotionally than kids who grow up in a house with parents who fight. Even a happy Single parent is better than two who fight. Parents’ fighting does serious harm to the emotional development of their children. A serious responsibility!
4. HAVE ATTENDED HIGHER EDUCATION AND HAVE GOOD JOBS: Children of such parents are more likely to go to college and find satisfying jobs.
5. TEACH CONFLICT RESOLUTION: E. Mark Cummings, a developmental psychologist at Notre Dame states, “When kids witness mild to moderate conflict that involves support, compromise and positive emotions at home they learn better social skills, self esteem, and emotional security.”
6. QUALITY TIME OVER QUANTITY OF TIME. It is not the amount of time, rather it is the quality of the time spent together. Stress should be minimal. The goal is to find the balance between the over involved “helicopter” parent and the too busy uninvolved parent.
7. VALUE EFFORT OVER FOCUSING ON FAILURE: More emphasis should be put on trying, failing, and trying again versus succeeding or not succeeding. Children can learn from failure by continuing to try and try again. It’s the effort that ultimately wlll lead to triumph.

Respected Reader, I find these seven suggestions to be extremely helpful in raising successful kids. Certainly there are other components to good parenting but these are a great start.

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Website: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com. Book: “A Successful Life –Guaranteed!” at Amazon