Ever had your heart broken? Most people have had a taste of that emotional impact and downturn. Some people never get over it and stay stuck in their lonely world. Others look for ways to move forward, releasing the pain of rejection, and re-opening their hearts to hope for a good relationship.

Therese J. Borchard, has written well about the subject. I offer her tips and add my own commentary. Borchard emphasizes that there is not quick way to mend a broken heart but there are steps to help heal.

1. GO THROUGH IT, NOT AROUND IT: In other words, “you have to feel it to heal it.” You need to grieve, not deny, your pain. Your strength and fortitude will carry you through and prepare you for your next relationship.
2. DETACH AND REVEL IN YOUR INDEPENDENCE AGAIN: To enter into a healthy and enduring relationship a person first must be able to be independent, able to live a happy life without having a romantic partner. Needy and dependent people do not have successful long-term relationships. 
3. LIST YOUR STRENGTHS: This is one of my favorites. I usually ask my clients to list their strengths. Many people struggle with that for various reasons. A person needs to know his or her strengths in order to raise self-esteem and confidence.
4. ALLOW SOME FANTASIZING: I don’t understand or see value in this one.
5. HELP SOMEONE ELSE: When you turn your attention to someone else you forget about your pain, at least for a while. Shutting down, feeling sorry for yourself, and staying stuck is unhealthy and won’t lead to the desired result.
6. LAUGH AND CRY: When you laugh you don’t feel pain. Look for opportunities to laugh. Also, a good cry is healthy. Did you know that when you cry from emotional pain the tear chemical makeup is different than when you have tears from cutting an onion, for example. The tears from emotional hurts are toxic. Thus, when you cry you are releasing toxins from your body.
7. MAKE A GOOD AND BAD LIST: You need to know what activities bring you joy and which ones set you back. Write them out and then stick to the good ones.
8. WORK IT OUT: Exercise helps greatly to help mend that broken heart. Exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinehrine and stimulates brain chemicals that make you feel better.
9. CREATE A NEW WORLD: Find new friends, explore new activities. Do things that do not remind you of the person that hurt you. You want to be in a “safe” world.
10. FIND HOPE: Hope is believing that sadness can evaporate and that a better relationship is on the horizon!

Respected Reader, can you relate to this? Has your heart been broken? Way back then, or recently? Hopefully this step will be helpful to you and anyone mending a broken heart.

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Website: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com. Book: “A Successful Life – Guaranteed!” (available on Amazon)