Universal truths from a lifetime on the water, in the woods, and on the road.

1. You can’t fix bad grits.

No amount of hot sauce or salt and pepper can fix bad grits. Once while traveling over in the Myrtle Beach area, I was eating in a diner that I’d eaten at many times before, I’d just never tried their grits. Well, a very nice and attentive older waitress kept telling me how good their grits were. I finally relented and said OK. When they came out, they were HORRIBLE! I mean, the phrase awful doesn’t cover it. The very nice waitress came back by and asked how I liked them. My reply was that frankly I didn’t. She then said, “Oh well honey you need to add sugar to them” at that point my only response was “no ma’am, sugar doesn’t belong in grits any more than ketchup on a steak.” Turns out she was from Long Island…

1. The only reason for a poling platform is to steady yourself when you pee off the back of the boat. 

Seriously, the older I get the more truth there is in this, mainly because of two things. One, I ain’t pushing a boat anywhere. God invented trolling motors for a reason. Two, everything hurts and I’m always tired. It’s just easier to lean against a poling platform.

1. If you ain’t got it with you, you will need it. 

I remember every time we left the truck when I was hunting with my grandaddy, he would ask if I had this or that, and then if I didn’t, he’d always respond “Well, if you need it and don’t have it you are just out of luck.” This probably explains my reluctance to throw any piece of hunting or fishing gear, tool or part away. 

1. A well-stocked truck includes Vienna sausages.

No filet mignon I have ever had can compare with a can of Vienna sausages shared on the tailgate of the truck with close friends and cold cokes while either hunting, fishing, or working somewhere. The sound of a can being cracked opened should warm every heart and bring back memories of Pop, Pawpaw, Granddaddy, Dad, Buck, Bubba or Earl. 

1. Never go skinny-dipping with snapping turtles.

This shouldn’t need an explanation, but I will anyway. Some things are just obvious to how bad an idea they are. You shouldn’t go skinny-dipping in a pond or lake filled with turtles, you also shouldn’t try and outrun that cop, and really thinking you are superman and can lift that dryer all by yourself is a bad idea. Stop ,think, and when in doubt, just move on.

1. Murphy was an optimist.

Honestly, if I need to explain this you never owned a boat.

1. Never eat an egg served at a gas station, and gas station pizza is rarely a good idea.

Years ago, my father, my best friend and I were heading to Florida fishing in my best friend’s BRAND-new custom-built boat. We stopped outside Macon for gas on the way down and picked up some cokes, Snickers, etc. My buddy, Billy, comes out with an egg and cheese biscuit. Now, I am fairly certain that this place might never have seen a bottle of cleaner or health inspector that wasn’t bribed. Ol’ Billy spent that night and the majority of the next day throwing up his toenails. I caught a good many speckled trout that next day while he sat curled on the front of that brand new boat. This has also sparked a rule on trips with me. If you eat gas station pizza, eggs, or sushi and get sick … I will leave you. Unless you are one of my kids. Then my wife gets mad at me.

1. Anything worth doing is worth over-doing.

One way or another then it will be spectacular.

1. You’ll never get a speeding ticket or game violation if you are lost.

Don’t doubt me here. If you are lost or got a boat out of commission, you can’t find a game warden or cop. If you are catching fish or running late somewhere, they are everywhere.

1. Nothing in the world grows faster than a fish after it’s lost or a buck after it’s missed.

Once that fish pulls loose, that buck ducks the string, or you discover that scope you haven’t sighted in for the last 6 seasons comes up short… That animal grows at a rate Einstein himself couldn’t figure.

 

Fishing and hunting reports: 

 

Mark Smith over at Reeltime guide service gave me the following for Lake Oconee: 

Stripers – They are back in Lake Oconee! Striper fishing is improving. Use of live shiners have produced some good fish around the river bend area. Look for the schools on your Lowrance and drop a minnow down to the depth you see them. Flat lines are also working, with a split shot.

Bass fishing is fair. Soft plastics fished around docks and wood structure work. Match your bait color to the water color. You can also pick up a few fish with a spinner bait fished slowly around the rip rap. Some action on buzz baits fished on sea walls and riprap. (If you don’t have a rat-l-trap tied on you are missing out but that is just me)

Crappie fishing is good. The down line bite on top of timber and brush piles has produced large numbers and size. Find the fish in the top of the timber with your Lowrance down scan and drop a minnow or a jig into the school and hang on. The long line trolling bite has also picked up. Look for the fish in the same areas in the timber.

Sinclair- 

Bass fishing is fair. More fish continue to move shallow and into the coves and creeks following shad. Buzz baits and other top water lures are producing well for all size fish including large bass. This bite may last for only an hour or two each morning but can last much longer especially on cloudy days. A top water bite can occur most anywhere although most should be in coves and creeks that have lots of bait nearby. Most Docks and boat houses are holding bass that are hitting soft plastics and jigs mostly. Try a Texas rigged 6 Zoom Dead Ringer in June bug. If the bass are after the shad in the very back of coves go to the ¼ ounce Rat L Trap. 

Crappie- Sinclair has some awesome crappie fishing now folks and I have heard to get the electronics warmed up and cruise break lines on the main lake and larger coves. 

Bucks are cruising it seems. Drew over at the MeatShed is showing off some dandy bucks lately.