Tangled

PG-for brief mild violence

Burlesque

Rated PG-13 for sexual content including several suggestive dance routines, partial nudity, language and some thematic material.

Last weekend, I went to see Burlesque and Tangled. What a perfect opportunity to compare and contrast. Both are “musicals.” One is live-action, the other animated. One is 3D.  The other is 2D. And finally, one is delightful and the other is dreadful.

Let me deal with Burlesque first. Despite the talents of Christina Aguilera and Cher, this film just isn’t Moulin Rouge nor is it Chicago. Honestly, all the parts were there but when put together, it comes up slacking. I spent more time looking at my watch than the screen. The story behind the musical numbers is numbingly mundane: Iowa girl goes to the big city and shows the lip-syncing dancers at a pseudo-Burlesque nightclub in contemporary LA that a country gal can blow the doors off the proverbial bump and grind (but not striptease) barn. Alas, even with all the jiggle and glitter, I was bored.

In contrast, Tangled proves that if Disney wants to present a top quality 3D product, it can and it would make Walt Disney proud. Tangled’s 3D is spectacular. The print isn’t dark at all. The image is sharp. Well done Disney.

Of course, Tangled is a retelling of the fairy tale, Rapunzel. (Purists need not expect an accurate telling of the original tale…this is Disney after all.) The King and Queen have a beautiful baby girl. During the Queen’s sickly pregnancy, a magic flower — the only one of its kind — had to be turned into a broth and fed to her (the Queen). This cured the Queen and gave magical powers to the princess’ hair…as long as it was not cut. An ancient witch knew all about this flower because it kept her young. Now that the flower was gone, she had to kidnap the child and take her to a tower.

Eighteen years later a roguish thief, running from palace guards, comes along (after he and two thugs steal the missing princess’s crown). He seeks refuge in the tower inhabited by Rapunzel and her pet chameleon that would charm — whatever it is that chameleon’s eat. Rapunzel doesn’t know she is a princess, of course. However, the witch has done a fine job raising a sweet kid.

While staring out the window, forbidden to leave the tower by her “mother.” Rapunzel sees that (on her “birthday”), way off in the distance, beautiful multi-colored lights fill the sky. She wants to go “there” and see them. The lights are actually lanterns (little hot air balloons) sent aloft…wait for it: in memory of the lost princess. Rapunzel escapes the tower with our rogue-hero. Adventure ensues…so does romance…and misunderstanding… perhaps betrayal… maybe not… a rescue… and a happy ending with those lanterns in 3D; very much worth seeing on the big screen.

It is charming. It is entertaining. It is a gorgeous film. The music is refreshingly pleasant to hear; the melodies are uncomplicated. It is, fair to say, that Tangled, is a little retro too; which is fine by me. Does it break new ground thematically? No. It probably does (break new ground) in animation, however, we probably are drawn more to the simple telling of a tale that appeals to our less sophisticated, uncynical side.

Mandy Moore (Rapunzel), Zachary Levi (Flynn Ryder), and Donna Murphy (Mother Gothel) are not big names like Christina Aguilera and Cher…but this just goes to show that a huge payroll does not a good film make.

Perhaps if I saw Burlesque on stage I would come away panting and clapping, but on screen: nah…just yawning and sleepy. Tangled, on the other hand, sent me home smiling and in a good mood.

Is Tangled brilliant? No. Is it going to go down in history as a classic? No, but it sure was an innocent, feel-good film.

In Burlesque, Cher, with all her mega-talent, was annoying (I wanted to pinch her head off) and Aguilera was a really flexible Barbie, with a spectacular vocal speaker system, but she left me as cold as a turkey sandwich — and about as dry without the mayo. And in the plot, when the evil developer was planning to tear down the club and build an office tower? Well, I was rooting for the bulldozer. Sorry.

Tangled — which I saw immediately after Burlesque — lifted my spirits like those colorful, hot-air lanterns.

I guess I believe in fairy tales.

Burlesque earns only two out of five bow ties. Tangled earns four and a half bow ties out of five.