Do you have role models? Did you have them while growing up? Who were, or are, your mentors? Popular commentary states that such persons are important for a child growing up. I agree — depending on who you give the distinction of being a role model or mentor.

I believe that the most basic, and needed, role models or mentors while growing up should be your parents. If they have dropped the ball and failed to provide a positive portrayal then a child will seek out popular or media present role models. In most cases this is not particularly beneficial.

What I am talking about here is in the area of personal growth and development. For career development, that’s a different story. Here a child or young adult needs a model or mentor who is successful in an area that the person is interested in. Many choices are available, some inspirational and some that would not be a wise choice.

In working with young people in my practice I continually see them floundering while trying to develop an identity and direction commensurate with their talents and proclivities. Some of the young folk have parents who are absent and no guidance is available. Others have “helicopter” parents who are overly involved in directing their child as to who s/he “should” be.

Personally I feel I was slow in getting a sense of my identity and career direction. My father, role model, was in the car business and was gone a lot while providing for the family. I knew early on that the car business was not for me. So what was? In college I was clueless about career direction and ended up with an economics degree. Upon graduation I realized that degree offered nothing that I was interested in. So I “defaulted” back to what my substitute “fathers” drilled into me. Twelve years of priest role models caught up with me. They said God had called me to be a priest. So I did that. Another wrong career direction choice, although I treasure what I learned through five years of seminary and a few years as a priest.

Bottom line is that I did not know myself, my talents, or deep-seeded passion. Gratefully this came about after I made a series of painful choices that forced me to look deep inside myself to see what was the best career fit. My own stubbornness did not help the situation. I did not seek guidance or insight very easily!

I am grateful that I found certain people who were successful, had ideals, cared about me, inspired me, and assisted me in finding my true calling — a psychotherapist. As a pragmatic idealist I have found great satisfaction in being a person who finds great satisfaction in helping people find their “path” to success and happiness — whether it be in the areas of mental health, relationships, or career direction. Another benefit of this choice is that it has given me the flexibility to arrange my schedule around important family time.

Respected Reader, have you had role models or mentors who have helped guide you to a better and fitting place in your life? Is there a need for such a “hero” currently? Are you currently serving as a good role model in your family or career?

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: Stathas@plantationcable.net. Web site: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com.