“My Spy” Review

Directed by: Peter Segal

Rated: PG-13

Runtime: 1:42

Starring Dave Bautista and Chloe Coleman, “My Spy” takes a youthful spin on the typical action-packed, buddy comedy we are used to seeing at the movies. It chronicles the budding friendship between a 9-year-old girl and the 40-something-year old male spy she catches in the middle of a surveillance operation. Sophie (Coleman) agrees not to blow JJ’s cover, if and only if, JJ shows her how to become a spy.

Judging by the quick narrative synopsis and the score of a 48% on Rotten Tomatoes, you can probably already tell how the film is going to play out — even if you do not choose to watch. I knew this film was going to be terrible, but I decided to watch it anyway, hoping that it would be somewhat generically similar to “The Game Plan” (2007) starring Dwayne Johnson. The two films definitely have different plot lines, but Bautista seems to have taken over Johnson’s family-friendly roles in Hollywood in the past year and when I first saw the “My Spy” trailer, I immediately thought of “The Game Plan.” Thus, I expected a feel-good, sometimes funny narrative before watching the film. This was not the case.

The first red flag for the film was evident before the film’s release. The trailers and previews for it have been playing in theaters for over a year now. Not to mention that the film’s release date has been pushed back almost an entire year as well. Sure, the film’s latest pushback on the release that resulted in it being sold straight to the Amazon Prime streaming service was because of none other than the coronavirus. But the point is: This film was supposed to be released a little less than a year ago, meaning it was never supposed to be great by any means.

I also feel like it is worth mentioning that the film has terrible language considering it is a family-friendly film. Yes, it is rated PG-13, but the film is geared toward children, and the writers missed the mark with the kid-friendly dialogue. I am positive that some of it will go above and beyond most kid’s heads but for the most part, some of the film is just a little inappropriate. Ironically, that Dave Bautista was just in a spy-type film alongside Kumail Nanjiani last summer in “Stuber” (2019). The film was, of course, different from this one, both in its plot and its R-rating, but something about the two films resemble each other and honestly, I think it is because Dave Bautista can only play meaty, action characters. He pulls it off in “The Guardians of the Galaxy” franchise but I’m not so sure about his future in Hollywood after this bust.

If you are dying of boredom at home, this may satisfy your craving for a fun, mindless family flick. However, be prepared to sit through almost two hours of a predictable plot with terrible acting. Speaking of acting, newcomer Chloe Coleman (who first stepped on the scene with a small role in “Big Little Lies”) does tend to outshine Bautista throughout the film, which is quite interesting, but Hollywood has cute, talented new child-star on the scene. 

I give the film a 3 out of 10 — only because Chloe Coleman is so adorable. Otherwise, the film has nothing to offer.