Have you ever heard the song “Already Gone”? Recently I heard the version done by Sugarland. Haunting! Jennifer Nettles is deeply moving as she tells of love that has been lost and is irretrievable. Let me share some of the lyrics with you and then explain why this is important in relationships.

“Remember all the things we wanted. Now all our memories, they’re haunted. We were always meant to say goodbye. Even with our fists held high. It never would have worked out right, yeah. We were never meant for do or die. I didn’t want us to burn out. I didn’t come here to hurt you now I can’t stop.

I want you to know that it doesn’t matter where we take this road. But someone’s gotta go. And I want you to know you couldn’t have loved me better. But I want to move on. So I’m already gone. …

It started with the perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in. 

And I’m already gone, I’m already gone. You can’t make it feel right. When you know it’s wrong. I’m already gone, already gone. There’s no moving on, so I’m already gone.”

These verses point out two realities that I see frequently in my practice:

1. “We were never meant for do or die. It never would have worked out right.” This has to do with two people who never were a long term match. They did not do their due diligence to see if they were truly capable of being together for a lifetime the “do or die” part. In such cases one person checks out. S/he is “already gone.” No matter what the rejected person does, it will not stop the person from leaving. S/he knows it is not a fit. So painful!

2. “It started with the perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in.” This is a relationship that did fit, that could have been special long term. But the “poison set in” and it was not addressed until too late. The love had died and one person was “already gone.” This, too, is so painful. A couple, at the last breath of life for this relationship, comes to marriage counseling. But it is too late. The “poison” killed the relationship, at least for one of the persons. There was no way to rekindle what once had existed. One of the partners was “already gone.” So painful!

Respected Reader, it is my wish with the article to raise your consciousness for both of these scenarios for yourself or someone you care about. “Already gone” moments are painful. Avoid at all costs.

Dr. Stathas can be reached at 706-473-1780. Email: jstathas13@gmail.com. Website: drstathas.googlepages.com. Blog: drstathas.com