“Iron Man 3”, if you have paid the slightest bit of attention to the pre-release publicity, is, in fact, one giant con game…and I am delighted that I was, indeed, duped. It is all in good fun and that is at the core of the “Iron Man” franchise. It is like an eye-winking parody of all comic book super hero tales either on film or on pulp paper. “Iron Man 3” revels in not taking itself seriously. And that attitude is contagious even when evildoers are doing evil you still have a slight smile on your face expecting to be let in on a satiric gag pushing the rules and regulations of comic book literature beyond acceptable limits.

Let me write, right off, that I thoroughly enjoyed “Iron Man 3.” Most specifically, the villain of “Iron Man 3”; he made me (figuratively) giggle and clap my hands like a simpleton at a circus.

Now here is my problem: I don’t want to disseminate any spoilers in the film. And that means I have little to put in my column…but I will do my best.

Robert Downey Jr. is the only actor suited to play Iron Man, or to put a finer point on it: Mr. Downey makes the franchise worth the price of admission. In other words, his particular cavalier personality makes the character sufficiently interesting to franchise. Imagine if Tom Cruise had been contracted to play Iron Man in the original. What a dreadful thought. I would have had to cheer on Jeff Bridges in his effort to kill “Tony” so there would never be an “Iron Man 2,” much less an “Iron Man 3”.

The plot is totally unimportant to this film. What matters is the cast. That our hero has to save America from a bizarre, unknown terrorist who looks like a mixture of Fu Manchu, Osama Bin Laden and one of those tiresome $50-divinity-degreed Internet preachers on television obsessed with Leviticus and Revelations is of little import; it is simply the vehicle that takes us on an enjoyable tour among actors with charisma and enough talent to entertain us rather than impress themselves with their “craft.”

This film lasted over two hours but I stayed until the very end, after the credits, (the crew outnumbers the actors about 10,000 to one but I might be exaggerating) so I could see Marvel’s trademark final-final scene. It wasn’t really worth it, but the point is that I wanted to stay for every second of the film. It was such a sublime waste of time. What do all those people listed in the credits do? And what are those jobs?

Look, “Iron Man 3” isn’t “Life of Pi” or “Lincoln” or “Amour.” Our parents warned us that comic books would rot our brains because they had no educational value. Precisely! And are we not glad? Brain rotting is under rated. Reality TV shows cause brain rot.

Sir Ben Kingsley is jaw-droppingly good. Guy Pierce, Gwyneth Paltrow, John Favreau and Don Cheadle are downright eye-comfy. But if you go see it, please check out the serendipitous chemistry between Mr. Downey and the little kid (played by Ty Simpkins).

After watching “Iron Man 3”, my Cinema Cling-on suggested that we dine at the Varsity. For those of you who have not “troughed” at these establishments, let it be known that its most famous cuisine are hot dogs in various sumptuous presentations…and onion rings…and an Orange drink that I don’t personally consume for fear I will go immediately into a diabetic coma, my teeth would fall out, I would gain 40 pounds and experience a brain freeze (and I don’t need any more impairments in that department). Anyway, while I gobbled down my second cheese dog, I realized that “Iron Man 3” is like a Varsity hot dog. It may not have any (artistic or culinary) nutritional value, but, by the gods of cuisine and cinema, I had a wonderful time. And I was content. All was right with my world.

“Iron Man 3” earns four out of five super hero bow ties.