“Ice Age: Continental Drift”

Rated PG for mild rude humor and action/peril.

 

It is for kids. At least that is what we say (and write) when describing a film that simply does not elicit a quiver of excitement. Also, critics (both professional and amateur) throw in a lame compliment about the special effects (or animation if applicable), writing rather meekly that “it” is impressive indeed. Yep. That is all I can offer my readers with “Ice Age: Continental Drift.”

But does the Ice Age franchise really need a fourth installment? I would have passed on it if it weren’t the only new movie to review.

Just so my scholarly readers may rest assured that I am on the case: the Ice Age (not the film but the period in natural history) was fairly recent (20,000 years ago as long as you are not one of those who believe in the Bishop Usher School of Biblical Science) or, to say the least, not during the period of the tectonic shift which created the continents. But it is a cartoon, not a lecture on Natural Science. Moving on…

Manny (Ray Romano) is still the nervous wholly mammoth. His daughter Peaches is a constant worry, desirous to run with the wrong crowd.

Sid (John Leguizamo) now has to tend to his sassy grandmother.

Diego (Denis Leary) continues to avoid contact but finds himself drawn by love and commitment to his old friends.

Scrat the Squirrel is still battling the acorn and apparently causes the splitting of Pangea into the continents, which causes Manny to be separated from his family. The gang, therefore, must join together to make Manny’s family whole.

On their journey, our crazy misfits come across ice pirates headed by Captain Gutt (a prehistoric orangutan) amazingly voiced by Peter Dicklage (from TV’s Game of Thrones).

Bluntly, there is too much going on in this film and too many action gags related to sliding here and there and I almost got an overdose of the family theme. Then there is the teenage love situation, which actually gets rather annoying because the species can’t mate and that lends one’s mind to wondering if there is almost an unintended racial comment going on … and then maybe not but I am not sure I caught all the nuances … and despite all the goings on there is sort of a lackluster monotonous sameness about all the shenanigans … and then … uh, wait … did I just fall asleep? Where was I?

Did I mention that Jennifer Lopez voices a feisty white tigress?

But it is a kid’s film, right? And the 3D effects were not bad — considering I hate 3D. The animation is very crisp!

Kid’s movie…animation: good. Special effects: spiffy. Kid’s movie. Passes the time.

Yep. Kid’s movie.

Ice Age: Continental Drift earns two and a half uninspiring bow ties. I just didn’t feel the earth move when I watched it.