Unstoppable

Rated PG-13 for sequences of action and peril, and some language.

If I were an actor, I would hate to work with Denzel Washington, especially in a tight space like a locomotive cabin. I mean it; he sucks out all of the acting machismo within a twenty foot radius. Co-stars don’t have a chance. It doesn’t matter if the screenplay of Unstoppable is as mundane as…everyday reality…he still gets our full attention. Nature’s distribution of charisma should be far more equitable, but there you have it.

Unstoppable is no classic film. It does not have a chance at garnering a cinematic award. It is, quite honestly, a formulaic, manipulative film. But I did not budge from my seat. My cardiologist would not be too happy with what the experience did to my heart. I don’t bite my nails. If I did, I’d have stumps for pinkies. To be clear: this is the kind of movie you have to see on the big screen. What fun…what non-cerebral fun.

Movie fans such as I love gritty films; they are so rare. The portrayal of characters that actually work for a living…like on trains in Blue Collar America…is a welcome change from the usual pretty-boy and enhanced bimbo mattress dramas. As if we really care about such self-absorbed mutton-heads.

Unstoppable is not trying to be more than anything than a thrilling rollercoaster ride. Platitudes abound. Clichés cascade off the screen. But no harm; it is all in good fun.

A runaway train — a half-mile long — without a conductor or engineer, hauling at high speed, toxic chemicals toward a city…the hometown, no less, of our working class heroes: one young, one, uh, grizzly and experienced (Chris Pine and Denzel Washington respectively). No sex. A bloated, jerk, executive (Kevin Dunn). A gutsy, sexy, take-charge woman (Rosario Dawson). Steel. Testosterone. Train crashes. (The somewhat disingenuous “Inspired by a true story” blah blah.) Helicopters. Hooters waitresses! These are the ingredients of a popcorn thriller. What more do I need to tell you?

Unstoppable is directed by Tony Scott; a filmmaker who is an action junkie and suspects that the public is also addicted to action, action, action. Even if you aren’t, it is very hard not to get caught up in the muscle clenching experience.

And by the way, when the train folk talk train talk in the movie…don’t struggle to understand. Sit back and understand that we are mere passive observers. Helpless…just there for the ride. And what a fun ride it is.

All aboard!

Unstoppable earns three and a half bow ties out of five.